I am A Stronger Writer when I am Emotionally Weak

I do write when I am emotional. I write more and definitely faster when I feel weak and sad. I guess that's the same for a lot of people. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe despair or sadness really makes me thrive on things I desire. Or maybe I'm just too overly dramatic of things. Artists are always thought to be like this. I guess I'm one of them.

I'm Rachel, 24. I'm a single mom to a five-month old baby and doing online freelance work for the past few months. I host travelers in my tiny apartment for free and go out with them or have long talks over dinner or before they sleep, squeezing all these in my very busy work schedule. I am planning to go to business while working, and study something more related to my interests soon, maybe Psychology, Liberal Arts, Literature or Theatre. To sum it up, I do plan to be superwoman in the very near future, just like how people describe me.

I find writing for me as an avenue of expression. I can't really write everything I am thinking about, there's just too much on my mind and only a few words I can type a minute (based on a typing speed website). I think most of the writing I did was on my mind. I tried to write more the past few months, but for some reason, I will always fall short of my personal expectations. I find that writing while thinking if people will like what I write is something that might never work for me, because I end up doing what I want and hopelessly wanting people to be inspired. Or maybe, I just need to learn some marketing skills. I think I am born to be one of those people who will always feel as happy as a girl with a big, fancy diamond ring when reading a good book at a quiet coffee shop in a big busy city. And I love to brag how these simple things and my beautiful smile makes who I am. I am more of a person living life and learning how to write to try to capture everything. And when I grow old, I do want to read these back, just like going through good pictures from the past. Or maybe just drink coffee.

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This is something I wrote for my first project in an online writing class. If anyone wants to see how this works, please visit the thread I created.

https://class.coursera.org/composition-001/forum/thread?thread_id=15432

Which Question To Ask

I just watched Amanda Palmer. Fell in love with her. Something about what she said gave me chills and made me awe in utter amazement. Asking makes you vulnerable. And she’s right. It’s a little hard to explain but I think I understand what she’s trying to convey through all the countless times I felt really afraid, very afraid and hesitant, to ask questions. Asking gives away the control to someone else. I’m just so impressed at how a person can live freely, making herself this vulnerable and available to the world, and in turn making herself receive more. It's like asking the world how much love she can give you and having her respond to you continuously, never wanting to stop. Knowing which questions to ask. I still have these goosebumps. Amanda opened herself to the world and the world just gave her everything her heart could carry. No. Actually,  more than what her heart could ever carry. It’s an overflow. I can feel it ebbing through her video. I can feel it coming from who she really is. And I just can't stop listening. 

www.ted.com --- Amanda Palmer